


Sunlight

by bambabam



Category: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Genre: Bad Puns, Banter, Cartoon Physics, Domestic Fluff, Flirting, Fluff, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Nicknames, Puns & Word Play, Short & Sweet, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 08:57:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18443267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bambabam/pseuds/bambabam
Summary: It's nighttime, Ham just wants to sleep and Noir is curious about a certain yellow flower.





	Sunlight

**Author's Note:**

> aaaaaAAAAA this. I made this at 5am bc They™ have been on my mind on repeat after I watched ITSV. god. I hope you enjoy!!

Every normal person (except for those who were unfortunately color-blind) knows what colors are.

"I like these flowers. The purplish shade is pleasing to the eyes."

"Sunflowers are  _yellow_ , Noir," Ham sighed, probably for the umpteenth time, plopping himself face-down on the soft cushions of the couch on May's (of Miles' universe) house. A beat, and Ham raised his head and squinted against the dark to look at the now unmasked, black-clad man holding a pot of yellow flowers near his face, almost too close to his spectacled eyes.

For better or for worse, Peter Benjamin Parker wasn't exactly what you would call normal. Peter Benjamin Parker was the one and only, 1930's Spider-Man, Spider-Man Noir, the number one Nazi-puncher, and the most dashing, most handsome-est person Ham has ever laid his eyes on.

"... Colors perplex me," mumbled Noir, probably for the umpteenth time as well since the day of the Weekly-Webbings™ the Spider-Lings had been occasionally conducting. Peni was the one to thank for this, even if the memory of discovering that Peni had created some small goobers for the multiverse hopping was equally traumatizing for Ham and Peni herself. (Peni probably never looked at hotdogs the same way ever again.)  "And this flower even so. Why is it known a sunflower? This does not resemble a ball of fire, if not only for its blinding beauty." The sheer tone of Noir's confused voice was (very illegally in Ham's opinion) too adorable for Noir's own good. 

"The petals look like sunrays, Emo Prince," Ham mumbled against the couch cushions, opting to mush his face against the pillows and think of it as a certain somebody's chest instead. "Aaaand it kinda follows the sun around. 'S why it's called a  _sun_ flower, Edgelord."

"Ah. Is that so?"

"Yep. Really  _really snazzy_." 

"...I'd like to see that happening." Noir's voice was hopeful and it was a big mistake on Ham's part to look at Noir's puppy-dog eyes. Ham swore, face reddening and buried his steaming face through the pillows. Goddamn those puppy-dog eyes.

"Noir, as much as I'd like to go with you, it's like—" Ham paused, took a quick squint at Peni's multiverse goober/watch, "9:30pm. You won't be able to see how the flower does it. Don't beat yourself over it," Ham said, flipping himself over so he faces Noir's direction instead and gave the brooding man a small thumbs-up. "Wanna see something just as amazing? Look at the mirror, darling." Ham flipped over again, winked and aimed finger-guns to Noir's direction, who seamlessly and effortlessly dodged the heart-bullets Ham sent. "Ba-dum-tss. Mm'kay, now let's go back to sleep."

Noir ignored Ham's pathetic excuse for flirting (and even more shitty attempt at getting him back to sleep), and opted to web the light switch open— much to Ham's annoyance. "What the  _fuck_ , Peter." Ham groaned, covering his now-blinded eyes with an arm as his other arm pulled another pillow from his pile and threw it to the offending bulb. Ham caught it with the same hand when Noir threw it back at his face, ignoring the chuckle the latter made and instead flipped the bird on him.

A few minutes passed. The sunflower did not move even an inch. Noir's shoulders sagged as he muttered, "Didn't work," with the most disappointed tone Ham has ever heard Noir say.

"Well, duh." Ham rolled his eyes, reached into his pocket, pulled a triangular "DUNCE" hat and threw it on Noir's direction. Noir didn't even bother to dodge this time, and instead silently put said hat onto his head. "It only works on  _sun_ light _,_  Sherlock. A  _sun_ flower only works with  _sun_ light _._ From the  _sun_."

"Bogus, I say," Noir declared anyway. "It  _should_ have worked. I know it." 

Ham snorted. "Oh  _really_? And do pray tell, Inspector Gadget," He said, as dramatically and as sarcastically as he could, with a matching hand-to-cheek action, "how did you come to such conclusion, at this very moment, at 9:45 in the evening, with no sunlight whatsoever?" To answer, Noir stalked towards Ham's position, pot of flowers in hand and vaguely jabbed and shook it a few times in Ham's direction, who looked unimpressed by all of Noir's shenanigans.

"If this shing-a-ling's supposed to work on sunlight, then why doesn't it follow  _my sunshine, the light of my life_ around?"

Even though Ham was lying perfectly still on the couch, he still somehow found his way on the ground with a loud  **BLAM**. The sight of Peter Benjamin Parker grinning stupidly was not what he expected when he looked up scornfully at the former, clutching at his  bruised forehead. Ham tried to push his heart that was literally trying to escape from his chest to no avail. 

"Shut up, you giant nerd." Ham breathed heavily, still trying to calm his hammering heart. Noir was laughing at him openly now, the little shit. "Shut up. Go away. When I'm done here— oooh, you are so going down. I hate you. You kept me up just to make me hear that— oh, I hate you."

"I beg to differ, darling," Noir said, still chuckling, before leaning in and planting kisses on Ham's face.

**Author's Note:**

> I rlly rlly hoped you enjoyed reading it as much as I wrote it!! They are the best dads for Peni and they deserve the best. Comments and Kudos are greatky appreciated! :) thanks for reading!


End file.
